This is how I have been feeling in the past few weeks. I have been taking on life and running with it. I think widowhood has not been easy but I have been moving forward. I found a nice house to rent and have settled in. My son is almost done with college my daughter is starting her 2nd year of high school. I am still working, in school enjoying my friends and family. I am just in a good place right now.
I have made the choice not to date.. This choice was made mostly from a conversion I had with my husband before he died and I do not want to date. Right now a man, dating and sex is not a part of the plan that is my life now. I think I spend my whole life trying to find a boyfriend, husband what ever. I think some alone time is just the best thing for me. I am sure this makes my husband happy, I really do not have a reason not to honor it.
So I close this, as I get ready for work..
Well here I am almost at my 3 year mark as a widow. It has been a long bumpy road, But in the past year I have started feeling better. Of course tears come, there are sad days when I wish he was here. Bu when I look back I feel I have been the person my husband would have wanted me to be. I keep my time with working, spending time with friends and family and of course school. I am planing two vacations for the summer and a few one or two day trips.
Things I have done..
1- Sold the house
2- Moved twice
3- Smiled and laughed.
4- Got a job
I wish I had some major refection about the last 3 years, But I really do not. I say to anyone who is a new widow(der) that the pain really does get better.
I am typing this while sitting on my bed in my new apartment. I will not lie this has been very hard. I have found myself a little bit depressed, but I will not allow this to get me down.
I am pretty much moved all in, now what is left at the old house are a few odds and ends. A few things to take out for bulk pick up. Going to take so things to goodwill. Once the house is sold, I will spend the next year rebuilding.
This whole process has humbled me.
I went to the store early to pick up a few things for the week. I plan on spending this week packing up the house. My 14 year old wanted to eat some waffles form the waffle house. SO I went to their for a take out. That is when I saw them….
A couple in their 50’s For some reason they looked like us.. The were sitting in a booth talking while the ate, Once in a while one of them would look at their cell phone and tell the other what message they got. Trying not to stare (or cry) I watched the women walk past me and gave me a big smile. Her husband paid the bill, and walked toward the rest rooms behind his wife. I could not help but to notice how he built like my husband. Skinny legs, but broad shoulders, and large chest. As they were leaving the both smiled at me and said good morning. They soon left and I saw they were local.. I just really feel alone right now. This also makes it hard to just move forward.