It has a very difficult few months. My loneliness has been really intense. Things have also not been working out the way I want them to. So after much thought I have made some choices…
Yep! Selling the house and I am moving to a smaller place. This was a very difficult choice to make but it is the correct one. I marched right in to the office paid my app fee, and now I will be moving in my new home June 21st. I will be having a yard sale the next few weekends to get rid of some of the things that I will not be able to take to the new place. Anything left will be sent to goodwill.
Old house is almost 3 thousand square feet. I am moving to 1,300 square feet apartment.
Going to be busy!!
It will break my heart to leave the house my husband and I built together… But it is time to move on. No mater where I go, it will always be our home.
This morning I was in bed, As always I fight not to look to the left side of the bed. But then I thought about Saturday mornings. My husband would wake up and do his “Man Stuff” around the house on Saturdays. Grass would get cut, cars would get washed whatever else he thought needed to be done. I would hear the doors opening and closing around the house, I would hear him playing music loud and sometimes talking on the phone. I also knew I needed to fix him an early lunch because he was not a breakfast eater and I knew he would be ready to eat.
Now it is quiet…..
It is funny how a person can miss the small things in life. BUT I smile because it is such a good memory.
He drove me crazy, but he made me happy.
Sometimes I feel like a freak. Just about every widow I know who’s spouse passed away, has already moved moved on with their lives (dating)
My husband wanted me to be happy, to have a full life. But having a man in my life is not a part of that plan for me. I have no interest in dating. But I feel like there must be something wrong with me for not wanting to.