No change

 

I thought at this point, things would be better. It seeams like everytime I get ahead I fall three steps back. This whole greiving process is hard and is even harder when the normal things in life come up. Money is tight, very tight. I worry about it all the time. A few days ago I wrecked my truck. I feel like nothing is working, I am trying, I sit around and try to find the answers, but the are not there.
I am not asking for life to perfect, just some the larger worries I have in my life to settle; well to settle they way I need it to. Prehaps that is way to much to ask.

So ends that pity party.(for now)

I have been reading a lot; My kindle use to sit collecting dust. Not any more. I enjoy losing myself in someone else’s life.
Anything that helps me escape mines. Movies also helps me to escape also. Getting back to the things I use to do.

I have been tap dancing and looking in path that many take when they feel lost. The first step to this is to be silent, no talking. no writing. I plan on trying this, IN SPITE of my doctor and my very good friend Medricks says. I need to find a balance then perhaps the rest of it will just fall into place.

Who knows? I just may find the answers, or I should try shutting up and opening my eyes and see it.

#Shrugs her shoulders#

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Thanksgiving Holidays

Next week is Thanksgiving. By now Nard and I would be planning the meal, and also finding who house we will crash to eat. I do not feel like going anywhere. Most of it is from when I walk through the door at anyone’s house It will be a reminder that the person they grew up with, raised played with as a child is gone. I really do not want to but anyone through that. It will be hard enough next summer when I attend his/our family reunion. I did not think it would be this hard, but it is.

I spend more time than I will like crying. Yesterday while I was driving in the streets of Savannah, I bawled like a baby. I really hating my life right now.

On the flip side of this, I am have a lot to be thankful for this year. My kids are healthy as I am. Now life is not perfect as I would like it to be. I am dealing with a lot of bumps in the road right now. To be honest I feel like everything is falling apart. In spite of all of that I am still here.

Stay strong for the kids, That is what I am trying to do right now. If I fall apart then everything else will also.

I will be starting a YouTube channel soon, I will post the link to it when it is set up.

Yes, it has been a while

I noticed it has been a few weeks since my last post. To start my daughter we found out she had a very serious medical problem that required her to have a spinal tap, and is taking medication to correct the issue. I am very blessed to have all the doctors involved who saw the problem and acted very quickly.

the eye doctor, Dr. James Treston at our local walmart see the issue, and recommend she go see a specialist right away.

The specialist, Dr. Ronald Dandy of Chatham Eye to have us sit in his office until he spoke to the neurologist and her PCP.
Her PCP, Dr. Linda Winders, Georgia Pediatrics who called many times, checking on her, and had her staff to get her to see the neurologist right away

The Neurologist, Dr Eric Perelman. Who cracks jokes and made the spinal tap go very easy.

Last but not least my family, you all know who you are.. there are so many of you I will be here all day posting.

OK

I also I had my knee surgery, ACL replacement, . Something I promised my husband I would do. Right now I am still recovering from that Once again my family and friends, (my friends who are also my extended family) Thank you all for helping me when I complained about pain, fed me, sat with me on the phone when I was board out of my mind…

My son, Who has been calling me, but I am not sure, but he keeps telling me I have not been answering the phone, Sorry Tom, When I am done I am sending you a text message. I am doing ok, do not worry. Just go to school and stay warm. I hope you bought a coat.

A week ago I reached the 6 month mark, It is a milestone. I am assuming the shock has worn off, because I have been really been upset the fast few weeks. It blows my mind because the summer is over, and he has missed that. His daughter is in band, and chorus. She is starting her portfolio so she can get in a magnet middle school for the arts. He is missing that also.

Well I have some paper work to take care of. so I am signing off.

PS.

This month is Lung cancer awareness month, wear you white pearls this month. Know You do NOT have to be a smoker to get lung cancer, You can ANY age and have have lung cancer. Lung cancer kills more people than any other cancer combined. My husband lived only 6 months after being diagnosed. But he lived a very full six months.