As women esp modern progressive women often do not want this part in their wedding vows, Along with the obey. As a matter of fact the obey part were not in mines. But marriages that last 40+ years, have them in a part of their vows and throughout their whole marriage. In hindsight I wish I completely understood this concept while my husband was still alive.
When my then future husband and I went to courthouse to get our marriage license; The idea of changing my name was scary, and I did not really saw it as important. But my husband gave me this look and so added his last name on the line that said “brides new surname”. The weeks after we got married he kept asking me if I had went to the DMV to have my name changed on my drivers license? After about two months; He claimed he needed to get a recent copy of his MVR, and for me to grab a copy of our marriage license and take a ride with him. At this point I knew gig was up. It felt funny to hand over my drivers license and marriage license. I watched the clerk type some stuff in her computer; take my old license and put it a drawer; and told me they will call me after it was printed. In a matter om minutes the name I had for years was gone.
The same issue goes for my wedding rings I never wore them, Mostly because I have high blood pressure and my hands were swollen. Now since he has died I wear them everyday and I still have high blood pressure. I feel bad about this because he had to die for me to honor something so important.
After this post I plan to go to the social security office to legally change my name. I will also change my name on my bank accounts, credit cards, Insurance; everything. It was important to my husband that I have his last mane. So I will honor this and him by doing it.