Losing Faith

Today, is just not a good day. My reality is kicking in and I am just having a hard time dealing with it. I have been told many time directly and indirectly that I just have to keep my faith and lean on god. To be honest two of my friend on facebook posted just that. I am trying, I really am… I know things will happen in time.

Last week I told myself I would keep in mind what I have to be thankful for, and remind myself of this daily I think If I had done this, I may not feel so bad today.

I have a loving supporting family, I have wonderful loving supporting friends. They are healthy, I am healthy. I could be in a worse place, But I am not. My kids are great.

BUT
I miss my husband, a good friend of mines told me the shock is wearing off, and It is hitting me that he will not be coming back. He was larger than life, and he died, and I do not think it is fair.

I want to do so much, But it is just not working out. it is just depressing.. So much for the summer full of sun and sand.

Sucks.

Can someone just tell me how to keep the faith?

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One thought on “Losing Faith

  1. you’re keeping the faith everyday. Just by showing up. Everyday doesn’t have to be roses and buttercups…everyday…well, it just is. Just keep moving, keep doing.
    Nothing will ever be the same, this much is true….feel what you feel…don’t deny it. It’s ok to feel sad, alone…just as it’s ok to feel happy and energized! You have to feel it to move through it.
    You will be ok…
    *hugs*

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