Guilt today

Well yesterday was such a good day…. a but stressful but good

 

Last night Nard came to me, I woke up to a noise in the house that turned out to be new house settling noise. As I was going back to sleep I felt a “pinch” on my butt; Right away I knew it was him. I let him know I knew he was there by saying, “I am so happy you are here”

Then, I felt him get in bed with me, I moved over on my side of the bed and I felt his arms around me. All I can say was “thank you’ I was so happy to have him near me once more. I drifted off to sleep,and had a wonderful dream about him. He was not sick, not on o2 machine. He was healthy and was himself.

I woke up this morning feeling like I could take on the world.

 

THEN

The mail came in…. The title for the truck came in the mail, I started crying because the truck is now paid off. The reason is because he died. He had insurance to pay off a lot of his bills in the event of his death.  Just another bill, a debt paid because he is gone.

How can I be happy?

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2 thoughts on “Guilt today

  1. Oh Lynne, this breaks my heart. Sending a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. It might help to remember that Nard left all those gifts to ease life for you….the visit….the ‘prepaid’ bills…..he loved you so!
    I love you too Lynne.
    Cyn (dolcinia)

  2. You know Lynne, Nard wanted for you to be ok and so making sure some of the bills
    were taken care of for you was something to help you to be ok. I`m sure this eased his mind in knowing that and made his transition easier too. So you should be happy..not feeling guilty. He gave this to you so you would be alright and you are becuse of this. He is still showing you his love..bless you my dear one.
    Love you Lynne,
    Darlene.

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