Hello world!

I am 40 years old, this blog will be about me my life, My life after the death of my husband. How I will build my life. How I will  define myself after his death. And the whole process.

 

My husband passed away April 29, 2011, he was 49 years old. He had a very short battle with lung cancer. We were married for less than two years but he was the love of my life for a total of 13 years.

When he died that afternoon, part of me went with him. The week between his death and funeral was a complete fog, I do not remember anything that happened at all. The one thing I do remember was being hit with the fact that he was gone and not coming back.  After I buried him, I went into a mode, of paperwork and phone calls. Dealing with insurance companies, Social security credit cards; a month went by very fast.

Now I am little over a month, this weekend I posted an ad to sell his riding lawn mower, Today someone is suppose to come by and look and buy it.

I know this NEEDS to be done.. But it is hard either way.

I am also doing somethings, my husband would be doing himself, Yesterday I programmed, and mounted a wireless keypad for the garage door. Now I could have programmed it, But mounting it; I would have let my husband do that. I felt so happy that I done it, But felt so sad he is not here to see it.

The hardest part of all of this, is that I am afraid. Very afraid of failing, losing my home and everything my husband worked so hard for.

But as everyone has said to me, I have to take it one day at a time.

 

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10 thoughts on “Hello world!

  1. It is a new life indeed Mzlynne, you are stronger than even you know.
    You are kind and very courageous, and think of others.
    I have absolutely no doubt in my mind you will make it.
    I hope for you a great happiness will some day enter back into your life again.
    I am sure you will find happiness in many things you do along the way.
    Thank you for being a part of my life these past months.
    May God bless you,
    Sandy/Cuddles53

  2. Dear Lynne,

    You are what ‘courage’ is all about. I’ve seen you take steps forward despite being afraid. I have confidence in your ability to move forward in the direction that is best for you and your family. Don’t worry about the ‘pace’. It is the direction, not the speed.

    Love and Blessings!
    Brooklynda

  3. Hi Love,
    You are now holding a torch of light for the rest of us in a very dark and long tunnel. The fact that you were willing to reach back and take our hands in the dark and help to show us a way through instead of leaving us to fend for ourselvesays so much about your character! For probably most of us, this battle w/ lc and all that we patients and we caregivers go through is the most hellish life event one can imagine. Thanks to you, Lynne, we are not alone in the dark with our pain. We can turn toward the light from the torch you are carrying, in Nar’d memory, thank you for helping the rest of us by sticking around. I think Nard would be very proud of you and all the life progress you are making, even without him by your side. Love you, Rose

  4. Hi Sweet Lynne,

    Thank you for letting us follow you on your journey. We’ve learned much from you throughout your care-giver days and now I have no doubt we will learn as you, yourself do, what it’s like to face life alone and pick up the pieces. I’m sorry that you have fears about the future, but they will lessen as you weave your way through the maze and have accomplishments to boiost your confidence. All the daily things like putting the remote on the garage door, and especially figuring out the insurance, SS, and government rules and regs……these will all enforce your knowledge that YES YOU CAN! I’m proud of you Lynne, and I know that Nard is too!
    God bless you, and much love to you my dear friend, Cyn

  5. Hi Lynn,

    I followed your posts through Nard’s illness and you never failed to amaze me with your perception, kindness to all and courage in the face of your own problems as well as Nard’s. When someone like you reaches out, the whole world smiles. Full disclosure: I tend to be prejudiced in favor of those who write well. You are skilled.

    With warmest regards,

    Diana

  6. Redifining Lynne..I love it and you will redifine yourself.
    If any one can do this ..it`s you Lynne.
    Nard will always be with you and be in your heart and you are
    taking the next step to move forward with your life .
    I am so very proud of you and you should be proud of your self
    (I just know you are ).
    May God walk these steps with you and may He carry you when
    you need Him to.
    Love you girl,
    Darlene.
    xoxox

  7. lynne – hunny – you are doing just fine – i have every faith that you will rise up to the occassion and make Nard very proud!!!
    much love
    xxx
    karen

  8. Dearest Lynne,
    You are a strong person . Being a caregiver I have learned so much from you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other at your own pace, and never stop doing what you do so well….writing.
    Love you,
    Joan(JE1964)

  9. Lynne,

    I cannot tell you how proud and amazed I am of you. I know that many days you’ll not realize it, but you are truly an inspiration to me and many others. Keep sharing. It will help you and those who love and care for you. ❤ As a caregiver, I admire your intestinal fortitude and ongoing compassion for those around you.

    Torrey
    http://www.torreyshannon.com

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